Boys confuse me. I do not understand why it is so difficult to read a boy. There is the guy I am seriously crushing on and I think he has feelings in return, but I can't be sure. I can't tell if he is being nice or if he is just shy. Honestly, he could have a girlfriend, but I don't think so. I get so many mixed signals and then at times I don't. To me it seems simple but apparently not. I'm sure any other woman would tell me that it is always complicated, but why?

I live in confusion, because I genuinely have feelings for him and I have no idea how he feels in return.

This is why so many young people can never find a significant other, because nothing ever moves forward. We are constantly stuck on being afraid to take a risk or to step into the unknown.

Questioning a question only leads to another question:

Recently I've found myself with an enormous crush on this guy I barely know. It got me thinking about the unknown. Questioning what is happening in peoples mind around you. What brought on the thought was what if he liked me? What if he felt something as well. I read an aquantances blog and there was an entry about this exact thought. Right now there is someone out there doing something completely unknown to you. Somewhere there is someone writing a book. Somewhere there is someone in pain. There are so many things happening all around the world that we are unaware of. One of the lines from the entry was "somewhere there is someone who wants to kiss you, wants to hold you, wants to make you tea." It made me think deeply about this guy I really like. What if he feels the same way. What if he wants to grab hold of me and tell me how he feels, but is too shy. At the same time, what if he doesn't feel that way at all. What is it is another person. The thought of the unknown and the things that go on around us makes you realize how insignificant you are. In this world I am merely a speck, in a pool of specks and we are all insignificant. Like in my picture, standing at the top of the eiffel tower, looking down, there is an entire city of people going through a complete different emotion than myself. I think of how right now, my cousin is on a plane returning from England. For two weeks she's been in a whole other country, doing something unknown to me. She may tell me about it, but we are so far apart. How she can be somewhere and I can be somewhere else doing things that are unknown to each other. It really is a total mindfuck. We like to think that our lives are the only ones, that we are suffereing through something no one else has. When in actual fact, somewhere someone is going through the same thought and has the same feelings. This all started with one feeling and the outcome of how someone else could feel in return. Right now does this guy want to get to know me? Is he thinking about me? Does he want me to come in and see him? Or will he ever make a move? Is he thinking the exact same thing about me? Am I thinking about him? Etc etc etc... Right now I am sitting here writing about this, in my air conditioned house, waiting for dinner. Mean while someone is out there trying to find shelter, trying to build something out of nothing. Someone is starving. Someone is getting married. People are doing anything imaginable and we don't even know it. I wonder what my crush is up to now? :D In the grand scheme of things, we are all so unimportant.

Dog days of summer

These really are the dog days of summer. The days where it is so humid out that doing any normal activities is completely out of the picture. Laying around eating popsicles and drinking ice tea is about as eventful as the day gets. I actually went out yesterday and walked up and down a hill twice and immediately regretted it. The air is hot, heavy and stinky. However, after the winters we suffer through, I have nothing to complain about. When I walk and I find myself sweating within seconds, I think of the days of walking the dog in blistering winds and feet of snow. So I say quit with the complaining and just take in the easy livin'.
Cheers Torontonians, enjoy these days because soon enough we will be back in our goose down and sorels.