baby.

it's better than I ever even knew

him

I loved him more than anyone could imagine. When I looked at him and saw him staring back, I felt alive. Electric shocks tapered through my body and sent jolts up my spine. His gaze captivated me and made me want to hold him. I wanted to know that everything would be alright, that we were going to last. I wanted to kiss him, to make tea for him and to curl up beside him at night. I didn't know how to explain how much I loved or cared about him but I knew it deep within my gut, in the mess of stomach acid and blood and gore, I knew it. Songs and poems and stories couldn't describe the immense emotions that ruptured within my soul when I was around him. The thought of being without him is like being in a dark room. No light, not even a distance street lamp, nothing to guide you. The emptiness surrounds you and overcomes you with panic and fear and all you can think of is the worse possible scenario. In the happiest of times the thought of him brings a smile to my face. I could be sitting in a room of people, a busy office, a classroom and a thought could trigger the biggest, widest smile that anyone has ever seen and I don't care. He is my everything. He doesn't hold a claim over my life but I let him. In all of the good and the bad I love him and want to be near him. When I laugh, I want it to be with him and when he cries, I want to hold him. I love him more than anyone could ever imagine and it makes me senseless to the point of laughing.

500 days of summer

About an hour ago I watched 500 days of summer and without sounding too cliche I loved it. From the moment it opened speaking about how Tom Hanson lived to be in love, I knew I was stolen away. I've reached the point with many movies that I can tell you the course of the character from the outset. I'm not sure if this is because I've read a lot of English novels and studied these plot lines but it was truly a GOOD movie. I could sit here and praise how "awesome" it was and how "hot" Joseph Gordon Levitt is but to be honest what I loved the most was how depressing it was. Here is this man who has lived his entire existence believing that there is one person for him and he knows it as soon as he sees them. He believes with all of his being that he lives to be in love. Meanwhile, he holds this mediocre job, he isn't even pursuing his dreams and he thinks that he found the one girl he has been waiting for. What I found so enlightening was that it isn't until he has had his heart ripped out, and he goes through a dark, unhappy period of his life that he recognizes he has to make himself happier. Love won't make him happier if he isn't happy himself. He pursues his dream, his career choice and through this he meets a woman who has already seen him before at one of his favourite places.

With this being said, a message at the end of the movie is that nothing is meant to be. There is no specific path that we need to travel. Life really is just one big coincidence. You have no control over almost everything in life and after "500 days of summer" Tom figures this out. I love the message and the meaning behind this movie. When he quits his job and says that greeting cards, media, and pop music ruin love, I want to hug him. There is too much truth within the sentence that people do not know how to speak their feelings. Overall, I would recommend this movie to anyone. I doubt many people who like it, or enjoy its significance but it's one of those movies you need to be able to think about it. There is no Michael Bay explosions or Guillermo Del Toro artsy devices, but plain simple people. Simple people with problems that we all face in our lives yet can't seem to find a connection to this type of movie. I can't believe it has taken me this long to see 500 days of summer but I'm glad I finally did. I feel somewhat enlightened amongst the banter of the everyday.

how I see it

I always thought life was structured, that there was a point to everything. I always assumed that there was a path I was set out to follow and that my steps were put down before my feet. There has been this realization, an epiphany of sorts, where I can see how unstructured life truly is. My feelings live as a roller coaster, weaving and winding through different obstacles. I wake up each day with a new sense towards life, and a new found purpose. With each breath my heart changes it pace and I come to this wall of unstructured beauty that I can truly see myself hurtling over. I feel as if life is just a crazy ride and if you believe controlling it will make the slightest difference, you will never truly live. For now, I will lay in the grass every chance I get, sing out loud whenever I want and tell people I love them more often. I will look up at the sky and be thankful for each day on this beautiful planet, with new found ideas and new found appreciation for the things I have and always make sure to laugh whenever it is warranted.

timshel

and death is at your doorstep

and it will steal your innocence

but it will not steal your substance

but you are not alone in this

and you are not alone in this

as brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand

hold your hand

thoughts.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to tell people what you really think. No bullshit, no lies, just the plain old truth. There is no doubt that they would be extremely hurt. There is no doubt that they could ever begin to hate you and think you are a bitch. But, would there be people who take that honesty in stride and thank you. It seems that in this age that people spend most of their time chanting fake praises about others, when it seems they could care less. If someone walked up to me and told me they thought I was a heartless bitch, that I was selfish and that I had nice shoes, I'd probably be mad. It would enrage me, but at the end of the day, maybe we need to hear what our faults are in order to change them. No one is perfect, but with constant navel gazing how do people change and grow? Truth seems to be lost among the technology of lies. Behind this false wall of keyboards and profile pictures, are real people that will face real problems that praise won't fix. Maybe the truth is lost, or maybe we need to bring it to the surface again.

....

Keep My Eyes Discerned, My Hands To Learn

life

Life Isn't Black and White, But a Million Shades of Grey

I was here.

There is a lot of different emotions in this video and song. I legitimately cried at one point, what a life she has led.

you

I walked towards you, paper in hand, heart leaping in my chest. I had sheep on my sleeves and you had a smile that made my cheeks flush. I gave you words, you gave me hope and I turned around smiling knowing that I got something for another day.

Lest We Forget

Wear your heart on your sleeve and show that you remember

meaning?

It is 11/11/11.

I do not know what this means

or if it has any significance.

Instead, we should focus on how it is Remembrance Day

and put all our attention to those who sacrificed their lives for us.

fun

If you can't have fun with clothes, what is the point?

Dalmatian Sweater by: Topshop

Granted

I've confessed on several occasions my love of chunky knits and oversized wool sweaters. Here is another great example of chunky knits at their best. This Canadian company based on the West Coast in British Columbia represents the exact essence of the importance of warmth and comfort on those brisk days and chilly nights. Their prints and patterns emulate the west coast with native inspired themes of dream catchers, waves, fire and eagles. They also use animals such as whales, deers and horses. They also have a special knit for the CBC. For anyone who has been to B.C knows that this is a province that stays true to it's heritage roots. Here is an excerpt of their story of knits:

"Our designs are clearly inspired by hand-knitted sweaters from all corners of the world. However our true inspirations come from everything that the West Coast has to offer. Brisk walks with our four-legged friends at the nearest beach, remote camping trips over the long weekend, and catching fresh tracks after a large snowfall are just a few things we live for and never take for granted."

For more on the company and the products go to http://shop.grantedclothing.com/

Image: Granted Spouting Whale Knit in Blue

leopard

How much more fun can you have with denim? Leopard print jeans.

Left: Current/Elliot Grey Leopard. Right: Jbrand snow leopard.

wisdomosity

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

enlightened

Being from Toronto, I frequently go to the distillery district for coffee, dinner, to walk around, etc. There are metal sculptures and artwork. In the daylight they look industrial and cold. I remember watching the different stages of them being built not quite understanding the purpose. Here are these cobblestone streets with old brick buildings and giant wooden windows covered in chipped paint. There is this contrast that I couldn't quite grasp. That was until Saturday night. I went out for late dinner and beers at the Mill Street pub and by the time we left it was pitch black out. As we leave I noticed the scultpures all lit up. They were magnificent, they appeared to be so much larger and vibrant than just metal sculptures. To be honest, I am actually happy that I got to see them at night. I feel as if they make more sense and the purpose of them is clear. Pure, beautiful art that needs to be seen in all aspects in order to understand.

wisdomosity

if only it was that easy

If only it was this easy. This is the ultimately dilemma when it comes to dating, how do you know how the other person feels? Are there mutual feelings? Does my constant eye contact and staring translate for him? Does his suggestion at coming in at another time mean that he wants me there privately? Or am I making this all up? This is my exact point, how do you decipher the opposite sex's advances? Are they in fact making an advance or is it just casual conversation and a suggestion that makes it easier for you? I'm stuck, and I don't want to be. I want things to be straight forward and am on the brink of asking him out myself. Too bold?

in love

I am in love with this sweater coat. Is this possible?

I can't find a good and clear picture of it, except this one from Aritzia's Wilfred Winter 2011 collection lookbook. It features a chunky knitted body and when buttoned up it turns into a cowl/turtle neck. How can you go wrong with layers, buttons and big sleeves? In plainer terms, it is perfect for the winter season.

Photography by Jody Rogac

Wilfred Gosford Sweater Coat

the answer

I've confessed a love for Crumpet England's cashmere scarves and how much I'd love to own one. Now considering a) I do not live in Britain and b) they are pretty expensive, being able to get one might not be in the cards right now. Being a student with other expenses to consider and with the bold return of Christmas, I am trying to find alternatives. My answer is Aritzia. They have a pretty close comparison scarf to the Crumpet leopard print. The Crumpet scarves retail for 197 British pounds which is roughly 250-275 Canadian. Aritzia's leopard scarf (which is also 100% cashmere wool blend) retails for 68$ Canadian. Crumpet has several colours ranging from brown, red, whites and lavenders. Aritzia has three colours, a deep brown red, light brown and beige and a blue and lavender colour. With that many options, how could you go wrong? I think we found a winner. Left: Aritzia Leopard scarf. Right: Crumpet England Leopard scarf

J.R.R Tolkien

Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance

Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.

JRR Tolkien was a genius. His world, his languages, his people, his everything is nothing but magical creativity and the proof that some minds are greater than others. Although he can be seen as somewhat whacky or crazy, anyone who creates something as unimaginable as a whole other world seperate from our own is probably on a level we do not understand. The novels, the epic movies, the huge following is all because this story is something we have never seen before. It stops us short and grabs our attention. The wise knowledge within this text is evidence that there is more to a novel than just a story, but a lesson in all of life.

only if for a night

the grass was so green against my new clothes, and I did cartwheels in your honour, dancing on tiptoes

my own secret ceremonials before the service began, in the graveyard, doing handstands

and i heard your voice as clear as day, and you told me I should concentrate, it was all so strange

and so surreal, that a ghost should be so practical

only if for a night

hypothetically

if sex were a shoe, this would be it.

well, at least until another one came along.

art

Like most people I enjoy art. I love creating art, looking at it, putting meaning to it, and over all getting taken somewhere visually through someone else. There are many people who find boring and pointless, but I can't say I am one of them. To be able to put feeling and emotion and your soul on a canvas is beautiful. I would kill to be able to paint and draw and convey real images onto a white blank page. To have that ability is so meaningful and priceless. You can't learn how to be a good painter or an artist, you just are. There is a lot to be said for that. One of my favourite paintings has got to be the mona lisa. Although it is extremely underwhelming, and is really small from all the years it has been cut and stolen, it makes you wonder. Who is this person? Why is this picture so famous? As much as there is no extreme emotion behind the piece that is what makes it so puzzling. Does no emotion, no extreme colour, no stand out beauty make something boring? It is so easy to convey anger, happiness, and beauty, but it is even harder to convey simplicity. To be able to show someone in a dull stance, and have it be one of the most famous paintings across the world speaks volumes. Art truly represents a form of oneself that cannot be spoken or heard. It needs to be seen, and needs to be found by each person in their own way.

nude

Not the type of nude you might think.

There is something just simple and pretty about a nude shade shoe. I absolutely love the be-jeweled ones, most likely because it adds that extra umph to something that could otherwise be boring. Plain and simple, I like 'em.

Both can be found at aldo shoes

Ceremonials

Florence and The Machine's new album is out this week. Titled,

Ceremonials. As usual she is amazing.

good morning.

There is nothing I love more than a cup of coffee in the morning.

The taste, the smell, the feeling.

My brother bought me a french press last christmas and I have to say, it is my favourite these days. Freshly ground coffee and then freshly pressed. Pure bliss. I couldn't ask for more early in the morning.

Movember

Happy Movember.

Let's abolish cancer once and for all.

Bring on the Mo boys.