him

I loved him more than anyone could imagine. When I looked at him and saw him staring back, I felt alive. Electric shocks tapered through my body and sent jolts up my spine. His gaze captivated me and made me want to hold him. I wanted to know that everything would be alright, that we were going to last. I wanted to kiss him, to make tea for him and to curl up beside him at night. I didn't know how to explain how much I loved or cared about him but I knew it deep within my gut, in the mess of stomach acid and blood and gore, I knew it. Songs and poems and stories couldn't describe the immense emotions that ruptured within my soul when I was around him. The thought of being without him is like being in a dark room. No light, not even a distance street lamp, nothing to guide you. The emptiness surrounds you and overcomes you with panic and fear and all you can think of is the worse possible scenario. In the happiest of times the thought of him brings a smile to my face. I could be sitting in a room of people, a busy office, a classroom and a thought could trigger the biggest, widest smile that anyone has ever seen and I don't care. He is my everything. He doesn't hold a claim over my life but I let him. In all of the good and the bad I love him and want to be near him. When I laugh, I want it to be with him and when he cries, I want to hold him. I love him more than anyone could ever imagine and it makes me senseless to the point of laughing.